Hold my beer and watch this!

Elk Mountains Grand Traverse

My friends know what a lousy spectator I am. Standing on the sidelines makes me feel like life is passing me by.

So it was surprising to find myself on the wrong side of the registration desk for this year’s Elk Mountains Grand Traverse back country ski race from Crested Butte to Aspen. Not only was I on the wrong side of the desk, but I was signing up some of my old climbing buddies.

How did I come to this?

It started innocently enough, when Jan Runge (Race Director, River Rat Extraordinaire, and one of my best friends) asked me to be webmaster for the race site. No problem. I know when to say when.

Updating the look of the site didn’t seem too bad. I’m a professional nerd, doing some graphics work and hacking some HTML isn’t going to send me down the slippery slope.

I wasn’t even worried when I agreed to go to Crested Butte, as they needed a nerd on-site. Besides, there would be wine, women, and SWAG. I know my limits.

And, before you know it, I’m behind the registration desk. Signing up the real athletes. They’re getting ready for a 43 mile high altitude race to Aspen. I’m getting fat.

So, accompanied by Hurricane McEwen, I fled to Aspen. It will be safe there. Everyone is normal there. I won’t feel like a loser there.

But it got worse.

By the next morning, I’m working the finish line, and racers are collapsing on the ground in front of me. Some are kissing the ground in relief, while others are carried away on oxygen. More than a few of them crawl slowly to the keg. I feel left out.

So I join them at the keg. They need my support. I was doing it for them.

All to soon the keg is empty, and I’m drawn up the mountain to do triage with Jan. I start to feel better deciding who lives and who dies. Who gets to ski down to the (empty) keg, and who gets some quality time on a snow machine.

I even enjoyed skiing down with the last finisher, but it was only because I was needed. I was still in control. I knew what I was doing.

Later that night, as we were having dinner with the Aspen crowd, a very young, and very beautiful, woman kept smiling at me. This seemed to happen frequently in Aspen. Must be mistaking me for Bruce Willis or something.

The racers are unconscious. Women are flirting with me. Life is good.

Jan asked me if I would do it again next year, and I said yes. Guess I’m an addict now.

Can anyone recommend a good 12-step program?

Posted: April 24th, 2009 | Filed under: Adventure | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments »